fibromyalgie - blog - clixart

Mein Fibromyalgie – Blog ist wieder zurück!

Ich bin wieder da! Es gibt neue Beitäge zum Thema Fibromyalgie

Ich habe meine Schreibblockade überwunden und wieder mit dem Schreiben auf meinem Fibromyalgie – Blog begonnen. Die letzten Wochen waren extrem anstrengend und schmerzhaft. Der Tod meines Vaters hat mich aus der Bahn geworfen. Deshalb war es mir auch nicht möglich an meinen Blog zu denken. Zwei Monate habe ich nichts von mir hören lassen, was mir leid tut. Ab heute soll das wieder anders werden. Back again!

Ich freue mich darauf zu schreiben und euch zu berichten, was alles passiert ist. Der Umgang mit Trauer und Verlust ist von Mensch zu Mensch verschieden. Allerdings werden viele von euch Fibros ähnliche Situationen kennen, in denen nach einer schweren emotionalen Belastung das Fibromyalgie – Syndrom stärker auftritt und sich die Schmerzen verschlimmern. Ich möchte euch teilhaben lassen, an meinem Versuch einen Weg daraus zu finden.

Der Tod meines Vaters hat alles verändert. Mir fällt es bisher schwer seinen Tod zu begreifen und zu realisieren, dass er nicht mehr da ist. Ich vermisse ihn, obwohl er selten für mich da war. Ich vermisse meine Tränen, sie sitzen irgendwo in meinem Körper fest und verursachen einen unbekannten Schmerz. Je mehr ich mich bemühe meiner Trauer Raum zu geben, desto stärker ist das Gefühl der Leere. Und je mehr ich versuche wieder mein normales Leben zu führen, desto trauriger bin ich. Ein paradoxes Wirrwarr an Gefühlen und wechselnde Stimmungen  sind meine Begleiter.  An manchen Tagen gelingt mir das gut und manchmal bin ich einfach nur gereizt und ein Kotzbrocken.

Meinen Vater zu begleitet und ihm ein würdevolles Sterben zu ermöglichen war eine meiner intensivsten, schmerzhaftesten und schönsten Erfahrungen. Es hatte etwas Versöhnliches und ich habe mich ihm sehr nahe gefühlt.

Es war aber auch mit hochgradigem Stress verbunden. Trotzdem hatte ich in dieser Zeit kaum Schmerzen. Von Fibromyalgie keine Spur. Im Gegenteil, ich bin über mich hinaus gewachsen und fühlte mich kraftvoll. Die Nähe zu meinem Vater hat mir die Kraft gegeben. In dem Moment, als er starb sind zwei Dinge passiert: ich lag erschöpft und müde in meine Decke gekuschelt auf dem Sofa, als ein stechender Schmerz durch meinen Körper fuhr, blitzartig und gemein. So als zöge ein Stacheldraht gummiartig durch meinen Körper. Einige Minuten danach brachen die grauen Wolken auf, die Sonne schien und am Himmel stand ein wunderschöner Regenbogen. Beides steht sinnbildlich für das, was mich gerade ausmacht.

Back again – seit dem ist sie wieder da, meine Fibromyalgie. Und zwar stärker denn je. Ich bin aus dem Gleichgewicht geraten. Nichts ist mehr an der richtigen Stelle.  Alle Knochen, Muskeln und Organe sind verrutscht und müssen wie bei einem Puzzle zusammen gesetzt werden. Alles tut weh, ein physischer und emotionaler Schmerz, der über das, was für mich „normal“ ist, weit hinaus geht.
Die Schmerzen machen mich fertig und schränken mich in allem massiv ein. Trotzdem möchte ich mich jetzt wieder darauf konzentrieren, was ich mir in den letzten Jahren erarbeitet habe.

Ich gönne mir einen Blick in meinen „Handwerkskoffer“ und beginne mit den Basics: Bewegung und Entspannung, Ernährung und kreatives Schaffen – das sind meine Resourcen!

Mein Wohlfühlort ist das Fitnessstudio. Hier kann ich „ slowly – slowly“ mein vertrautes Körpergefühl zurück gewinnen. Vor allem sind es die Yogakurse und die Sauna, die mir gut tun. Neuerdings nehme ich an einem Fazientraining mit einer Fazienrolle teil. Die Rolle verursacht oft einen unerträglichen Schmerz an bestimmten Stellen. Trotzdem geht es mir gut damit. Ich spüre alle Verklebungen in meinem Körper und die Entspannung danach. Das scheint sich bei mir auch auf die Seele auszuwirken, ich bin nicht mehr so labil und fühle mich emotional besser.

Auch die Schreiblust ist wieder da – back again – darüber freue ich mich am meisten.  Angefangen hat alles damit, dass ich in einer Zeitschrift einen Beitrag über das sogenannte „Bullet journal“ gelesen habe. Im Januar startete ich mit meinem ersten eigenen „Bullet Journal“, zunächst skeptisch mit Bleistift und sehr spartanischer. Inzwischen habe ich mir neue Stifte gekauft und gestalte mein Bullet Journal bunt und kreativ. Ich finde es fantastisch!

Es ist perfekt als Organizer und gibt Raum für Gedanken, Ideen, Träume, Erinnerungen und Kreativität.

Meine Ernährung habe ich auch umgestellt. Ich habe es mit essen und trinken besonders am Karneval etwas übertrieben und brauche unbedingt das Gefühl zu entgiften. In den vergangenen Jahren habe ich mindestens einmal im Jahr gefastet, womit ich gute Erfahrungen gemacht habe.  Allerdings kann Heilfasten auch anstrengend sein, weshalb ich jetzt etwas anders probieren möchte.

Darüber und wie es mir geht mit meinen Schmerzen,  meiner Fibromyalgie und wie ich meinen Alltag bewältigte, werde ich euch auf dem Laufenden halten .

Back again……ein super schönes Gefühl wieder zu schreiben!!!!

311 Kommentare

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