Tränen während der Meditation?

Heute sind mir bei der Meditation  die Tränen gekommen. Seit vielen Wochen ist es das erste mal, dass ich mich dazu aufgerafft habe meine mir so lieb gewonnene und völlig vernachlässigte Gewohnheit, täglich eine aktive Entspannung zu machen, wieder auf zu nehmen. Ich liege auf meiner Akupressurmatte, meine Beine leicht erhöht und mache die CD mit der Seemeditation  an. Beim Klang der Stimme kommen mir spontan die Tränen. Ich kann es selber nicht fassen und wahrscheinlich klingt es seltsam, aber ich habe diese Stimme und viel mehr noch den Zustand der Entspannung vermisst. Mir wird bewusst, wie gut es mir getan hat diese Meditation täglich zu praktizieren. Der Grund für meine Tränen ist eine Mischung aus Traurigkeit und Erleichterung. Meine Traurigkeit rührt daher, dass ich mich in den letzten Wochen, ja Monaten nicht um mich gekümmert habe und ausgerechnet die Meditation vernachlässigt habe. Traurig frage ich mich: „ Warum bin ich nur so nachlässig mit mir selbst? Wie kann es sein, dass ich trotz großem Leidensdruck nicht auf das zurück greife, was mir so gut tut?“

Von Jon Kabat Zinn  habe ich das erste mal vor fast zwanzig Jahren in einem Vortrag gehört und mir das Buch „Gesund durch Meditation“ von einer Freundin ausgeliehen. Danach bin ich noch mehrmals über den Namen gestolpert, in unterschiedlichen Zusammenhängen. Bis ich mir vor etwa zehn Jahren die CD „Die heilende Kraft der Achtsamkeit“gekauft und mit der Meditation begonnen habe.

Seit dem meditiere ich eigentlich regelmäßig. “Eigentlich“ – ein schönes Wort, was heißt denn hier „eigentlich“? Ab und zu? Immer? Nie? Nur in meiner Fantasie? Eigentlich heißt, ich meditiere oft monatelang jeden Tag. Dann passiert irgend etwas, wir bekommen Besuch, ich werde krank oder wir fahren in den Urlaub. Und dann „gönne“ ich mir ein Pause und nicht selten ist es eine längere Pause. Ich weiß nicht, wieso es mir nicht gelingt eine tägliche Praxis in meinen Alltag zu integrieren, ähnlich wie das Zähneputzen. Dabei sit mir längst klar, dass es mir gut tut und es im Umgang mit der Fibromyalgie extrem wichtig ist.

Aus diesem Grund liefen mir heute die Tränen während der Seemeditation am Gesicht runter in den Nacken, was ziemlich unangenehm war, weil es so gekitzelt hat. Ich ließ sie laufen. Still liege ich da, lausche der sanften Stimme und allmählich gleite ich in einen entspannten Zustand.

Die gute Nachricht ist: je öfter man die Meditation macht, desto einfacher wird es konzentriert und aktiv dabei zu sein. Der Körper und auch der Kopf schalten um auf Stille, alle Muskeln lassen los und die Gedanken beruhigen sich. Ich bin selber überrascht, wie schnell ich auch heute entspannen konnte und wie erfrischt ich mich hinterher gefühlt habe. An einem Tag wie heute bin ich glücklich, dass Ich die Meditation in meinem „Handwerkskoffer“ gegen Fibromyalgie und schlechte Laune habe und jederzeit darauf zurück greifen kann. Es ist sehr hilfreich eine aktive Entspannungstechnik erlernt zu haben, dabei muss es sich nicht um die Meditation von Jon Kabat Zinn handeln. Jede andere Form der Meditation, Autogenes Training oder Progressive Muskelentspannung tun es auch.

Unerlässlich ist allerdings tatsächlich das tägliche Üben, weshalb ich mich schon auf morgen freue und auf übermorgen und überübermorgen…….

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