Bild von snap shot bei pixabay

Abgetaucht – meine Welt ist der Kopfhörer

Fibromyalgie und Reizüberflutung

Meine Welt sieht so aus: mir macht eine Reizüberflutung durch Stimmengewirr, Straßenlärm, Menschengedränge, Lichter und Reklame  mehr aus, als dir! Viel mehr, denn das alles verursacht bei mir regelrecht Schmerzen. Warum das so ist? Ich habe Fibromyalgie! Manchmal, wenn es ganz schlimm ist, denke ich: „Das halte ich nicht mehr aus“! Und dann träume ich davon nie mehr vor die Türe gehen zu müssen und für immer in meiner kuscheligen Wohnung zu bleiben zu können.

Was hat das mit der Fibromyalgie zu tun? Ganz einfach: durch die dauerhaften chronischen Schmerzen liegen die Nerven blank, so dass alle Reize von außen Stress bedeuten. Und da das vegetative Nervensystem bei Menschen mit Fibromyalgie nicht gut funktioniert und die Reizverarbeitung gestört ist, kann dieser von außen verursachte Stress nicht mehr kompensiert werden.

Ein Stadtleben, wie ich das führe, ist nicht gerade förderlich und nicht selten sehne ich mich nach einem Leben auf dem Land mit mehr Ruhe und Natur. In meiner Welt gibt es eine ständige Geräuschkulisse. Es ist nie still, nicht mal nachts. Nicht mal in meiner Wohnung. Ich habe es mir gerade auf dem Sofa gemütlich gemacht, da geht es los! Schritte von oben, dann lautes Lachen, noch mehr Schritte, noch mehr Stimmen, manchmal kommt noch Musik dazu.

Meine Welt sieht so aus: Unsicherheit und Angst sind meine ständigen Begleiter.  Sobald ich die Straße betrete geht bei mir der Alarm los: Achtung! Mir ist als wenn mich jede Stimme, die ich höre berührt, ich spüre ein Stechen und Brennen auf der Haut. Zusätzlich dringt mit jedem Geräusch ein Schmerz in meine Ohren, der schwer zu beschreiben ist. Er ist leise und schleicht sich langsam an, ehe er sich bemerkbar macht und unerträglich wird.

Ich habe Termine, ich muss einkaufen, ich möchte mich in ein Café setzen und gemütlich einen Kaffee trinken, meine Freundin hat mich zu sich eingeladen….. ich MUSS raus und ich WILL raus. In die U – Bahn oder auf’s Fahrrad. Beides bedeutet für mich hochgradiger Stress.

Meine Welt sieht so aus: ich habe Angst berührt zu werden.  In der U- Bahn zucke ich jedesmal zusammen, wenn mich jemand versehentlich berührt. Ich bekomme einen riesen Schreck, wenn mich jemand von hinten antippt, damit ich zur Seite gehe. Ich bin irritiert und muss mich neu sortieren und konzentrieren.

Immerhin habe ich inzwischen herausgefunden, wie ich mich schützen kann und ich weniger unter Stress gerate.

Ich tauche ab in meine Welt! Meine Welt sind meine Kopfhörer und die Musik. Ohne Kopfhörer gehe ich nicht mehr aus dem Haus.

Höre ich beim Einkaufen oder in der U – Bahn meine Gute –  Laune – Musik oder Entspannungsmusik, dann geht es mir gut. Ich fühle mich wie unter einer Taucherglocke, keine anderen Geräusche dringen zu mir durch und ich nehme den Rest der Welt wie durch einen Filter wahr. Das beruhigt mich und ich bewege mich freier. Manchmal reicht sogar nur der Kopfhörer als Schutz, auch wenn ich keine Musik höre – es hilft!

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